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Recently I was greatly embarassed when I poured my large bottle and found the bar patrons laughing at my glass of Guinness foam. Have you any advice on how to pour a large bottle properly?
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First open the bottle (the barman will normally do this for you). Then get a glass. Now here come's the hard part. Empty the contents of the bottle into the glass until the glass is full. Sometimes it's best to tilt the glass slightly and let the Guinness slide down the side of the glass (try ensuring that this takes place on the inside of the glass).
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Does the waterfall in the jacks in Ulysses hold a religious signifigance for members of WCT?
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Yes! Tour members will often pay homage to the Waterfall by pushing other WCT members into it while urinating.
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A friend of mine mentioned the other night that he was barred from Baker Street. Is this possible?
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No! Your friend is mistaken. WCT has conducted extensive scientific research on this matter. Experiments included but are not limited to; 1. Playing beer-mat Frisbee with large amounts of beer-mats at once. 2. Five or six tour members flashing their arses simultaneously in front of the bar while other tour members are getting served. (The staff never batted an eyelid).
Thus it can be concluded that it's NOT possible to get barred from this establishment.
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I am living in Dublin and find it next to impossible to aquire large bottles. What do you suggest?
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Stop living in Dublin.
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I'm worried that on a WCT my girlfriend and her friends may decide to meet up with us if she's on a night out. Is there any way of avoiding this situation?
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If such a situation should occur, the WCT committee can execute executive protocol P001-32/1 (a.k.a. The Sheep Dip protocol). In this situation, the tour diverts from the planned schedule and includes Tom Mahers in the list of pubs to visit that night.
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What is the smell that eminates from the well in Downses?
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Piss.
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I recently went to the back of the Munster for a drink and found the place to be most unwelcoming. How do you make the patrons in the back of the Munster talk to you?
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This takes some time. It is necessary to vist the establishment at least 25 times before the locals notice you. After this point they will begin to accept you.
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I visited my psychiatrist after the last WCT and it was concluded that as a result of the tour I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Has this happened to other members of WCT?
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No. You're weird.
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What is the punishment imposed on a tour member who diverts from the rules on a WCT?
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Extreme slagging from other WCT member, possible dunking in the Waterfall in Ulysses and possilbe demotion.
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What is the punishment imposed on a tour member who gets arrested while on a WCT?
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Promotion.
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